With Valentine’s Day around the corner, most people are busy making dinner reservations and shopping for gifts to express their love for their partners.
While grand gestures such as fancy dinners and gifts are nice on special occasions, there is a simpler and more personal way to show love to your partner everyday of your lives – speaking his/her love language.
According to renowned marriage counsellor and author, Dr Gary Chapman, there are five love languages – Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving of Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each love language is a predominant way that we use to express and receive love.
For example, if your partner’s love language is quality time, your partner may not feel as cherished as you think he/she would be if you’ve been showering him/her with gifts while being too busy with work or your friends and hobbies. To feel loved, your partner would need you to spend time with him/her engaging in activities you both enjoy or which allow you to get to know each other on a deeper level.
So, they key to showing love in the most effective way would be for you to first know your partner’s love language! Taking the time to learn and understand your partner’s primary love language can help strengthen your bond. To discover your partner’s and your own love language, try out this simple assessment.1
Once you’ve identified each other’s love language, think of effective ways to express your love so that they would feel genuinely cherished. Here are some ideas to convey your love according to the different love languages.
Words of Affirmation
Speak words of encouragement and compliment your partner. Share reasons why you love your partner. Refrain from insults.
Call your partner on their lunchbreak to say “I love you”.
Write a poem of love specially for your partner and frame it up as a gift.
Create love notes expressing love and appreciation for your partner. You may even surprise your partner by slipping the notes in their pockets or hiding them at unexpected places to be discovered throughout the day.
Acts of Service
Perform actions which would ease the burden of responsibilities on your partner.
Refrain from laziness, broken commitments or creating more work for your partner.
Offer to take over a household chore which your partner hates doing.
Volunteer to take the kids out so that your spouse can enjoy some much-needed “me time”.
Prepare a homecooked take-way lunch for your partner.
People with this as their primary love language thrive on the love, thought, and effort behind each gift.
Avoid thoughtless gifts or a missed birthday and anniversaries.
Create a scrapbook documenting your milestones together and include captions detailing your thoughts on each page.
To present a meaningful gift which your partner would love, pay attention to your partner’s likes and dislikes and take note of his/her desire for certain items.
After a trip, bring back a souvenir which reminds you of your partner.
Nothing says “I love you” more than giving your partner your undivided attention and indulging in quality conversations.
Avoid postponing dates and appearing distracted when you’re together.
Book a short get-away and create memories by trying out activities which both of you are interested in but have never tried before.
Leave the kids at home and indulge in a romantic dinner for two.
Plan a date night each week.
Physical touch such as hugs or hand-holding fosters a sense of security and reaffirms the bond between partners.
Avoid neglect or being frequently absent.
Kiss hello and goodbye
Create DIY spa coupons which your partner may redeem from you at home. Gift your partner a pampering massage and play some soothing music in the background.
Cuddle while watching television
Interested in strengthening your marriage? Check out TOUCH Family Life for regular family life education talks, workshops and courses!
TOUCH Family Services aims to build strong and fulfilling families, and promote the well-being of individuals and families in need. It impacts over 12,500 families and individuals each year through family-based services and programmes, and strives to provide a holistic integrated service to serve the needs of every person and family at every stage of their lives.
1TOUCH Community Services is not affiliated to www.5LoveLanguages.com.