You’ve exchanged your vows and are adjusting well to married life. However, the passion and butterflies you experienced from the honeymoon period seem to be slowly fading as the responsibilities of daily life set in.
How then can husbands and wives continue to grow close to each other, strengthen, and protect their marriage?
Here are some tips by Mr Edmund Wong, Director and Marriage Instructor at TOUCH Family Services:
Couple-Face-Time
Every couple needs to have some space to talk about issues. Be the best listener for each other. This "Couple-Face-Time" is a dedicated face time that is not carried out over the mobile devices, social media platforms, or on your journey home from work. It requires the physical presence of both parties looking at and focusing on each other while having a heart-to-heart talk. This “Couple-Face-Time” is like a car-park lot where you can leave the "issues" until you next visit it again and pick up from where you left off. 30 minutes to an hour of "Couple-Face-Time" every week may be helpful for some couples to start with, but many have found it necessary to increase it to 3 or 4 times per week.
Do things together and have fun
Spending time together, doing things together, laughing together, letting your hair down and having fun together are some things a couple should have in their relationship. You may even consider signing up as a couple to attend Family Life Education workshops to pick up some life-skills to help grow your marriage.
Share your moments
Having your spouse share his/her disappointments or frustrations with you allows your lives to come together as one, truly what a marriage should be. As you offer each other your presence, a comforting hug and support, you are living out your marriage vows to “love, comfort, honour…”.
Set goals
Most of us are quite accustomed to planning and setting goals for our careers and our personal development. It shouldn’t be any different with your marriage! Romance will not just happen and relationships will not blossom by chance without any effort. Setting goals as a couple, planning your dates and keeping them, honouring your marriage vows are some of the efforts you can make to grow your marriage. We did everything right during courtship. So, keep on doing it even when you are married!
Be willing to say “sorry”
Remember that no one is perfect. When the time comes to say “sorry”, say it and mean it. It may take a bit more time and effort to rebuild the trust that has been broken, but it can be done if a couple puts their hearts to it together.
Be part of a community
The advantage of plugging yourselves into a community of married couples is that you will be surrounded by other couples who can be an encouragement to the both of you. Hearing their success stories as well as failures and sharing yours help to keep your expectations of your own marriage in check.
Seek help
If you are having problems in your marriage, be open to ask for help. Give your marriage another chance or help another couple in need. For counselling services, contact TOUCH Family Services at 6709 8400.
TOUCH Family Services aims to build strong and fulfilling families, and promote the well-being of individuals and families in need. It impacts over 12,500 families and individuals each year through family-based services and programmes, and strives to provide a holistic integrated service to serve the needs of every person and family at every stage of their lives.